Reminiscence
by facades and stars
Summary: [Axel]If this was just a Nightmare...then why did I stop breathing? [oneshot]


Disclaimer: Nope. I also don't own the song "Seventy times 7" by Brand New.

* * *

Reminiscence 

Sometimes remembering someone or _something_ was what scared him.

When Axel would wake up in the middle of the night in his cold, empty, lonely room with no glass in the windows and no light and he would scream out a name that sounded so familiar but to no avail could he remember who it was.

It was someone he could only remember as his "best friend."

**_"cause you left the frays from the ties you severed  
when you say best friends means friends forever" _**

_"Rox-" _

Sometimes the fiery-haired nobody would wake up in a cold sweat, the pillow on the ground, the sheets all tangling up and that person wouldn't be there to calm him down and tell him everything was going to be okay.

But what scared Axel the most was when he would fall asleep and all of a sudden he would be choking on flames and smoke and _he couldn't breathe! _Across from him, with his weapons out, would be the boy he missed.

And it scared him. Oh no, he wasn't just scared anymore.

He was _fucking terrified. _

So he turned cold and broke down at the name of his friend. His hope grew when he saw his friend and he smiled. But it was barely even a _happy_ smile. It was more like a plea.

_"----- please come back!" _

And it always ended in a fight or more sorrow.

_Clash. _

_Bang. _

_Clink. _

_Blood. _

No, not even real blood, because they were Nobodies right? Nobodies weren't_ real_, they couldn't bleed. They couldn't even _be. _

**_So, is that what you call a getaway?  
Well tell me what you got away with.  
Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish.  
I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids. _**

Sometimes Axel even went temporarily insane, but wouldn't admit to it, and he would _pretend_ that the **other** was the boy he lost. "OkaynowyoucanbetheboythatgetslostandI'llcomeandfindyou." He said barely audible. "Then I get to punish you for running away." He'd laugh. The other boy with the spiky brunette hair would run and hope to never be found.

Sometimes the memories would come back to him even while Axel was awake. (But maybe he was still dreaming.) Because this was like a nightmare to him.

There was a lonely side street surrounded by empty, windowless, door less sky scrapers and cold, wet, unforgiving streets. The street was dark and rain hit the pavement hard. A tall man with fiery red hair and two teardrop tattoos stand in the middle of the street. He looked unhealthily thin and pale and was covered in various scratches and bruises. He lay there soaked to the bone and bleeding. His jacket was slumped off his shoulder to reveal a deep gash on his arm. Then, out of the haze of fast falling rain drops came more Neoshadows and Dusks.

He slashed at all of them with so much hatred and pain.

_"We were…best friends, right?" _

_"Don't go!" _

_"No one would miss me." _

_"That's not true! I would." _

_"Get back!" _

_"Burn baby!" _

_"C'mere I'll make it all stop!" _

_"Commit it to memory…" _

_"I miss you…Got it memorized?" _

The street was empty and he sat there in the rain. The skyscraper above showing sweet memories on the screen that he refused to look at.

**_Have another drink and drive yourself home.  
I hope there's ice on all the roads.  
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,  
and again when your head goes through the windshield. _**

If friendship lasts forever then why is the word "end" in it...and he'd ask himself that every night.

He sat there on the tall white seats so high above the ground. _Now watch it and don't fall off because it you do you'll be as flat as a pancake. _That's what he told the boy the first day he arrived.

"Roxas is so scared of hights, he always thinks that he'll fall off." The tall pyro laughed bitterly touching the stone. Xigbar walked up to him. "Start using past tense, that boy's _gone._" Xigbar said laughing as he walked out of the room. He was filled with anger now._ "What?" _The boy with the fiery hair said as he ran to Xigbar and punched him. Xigbar stood up and walked off. "You're not worth fighting." Xigbar said and stormed off.

The fiery haired boy walked through the castle one night and noticed Demyx sleeping by the grave of Zexion and he frowned. "You should sleep in your room, that doesn't look comfortable." He said. Demyx looked up. "I don't care. I miss him." Demyx said. He sighed and walked back to his room.

One night he woke up in a cold sweat.

"ROXAS!"

Then everything came back.

_"Roxas." _

_"Get back!" _

He opened his eyes and there was Roxas. He had been searching for so long…

He saw Sora sitting there. Roxas was next to him crying. But…he seemed transparent.

Roxas pressed his hands against the shield that he couldn't see, yet knew was there. When a black gloved hand reached out to meet his, curling up as if holding it through the impenetrable invisible barrier, Roxas bit his lip, his own hands balling into fists. Axel smiled wryly, his bright green eyes half-closed, as if in a fond thought.

As his arms began to grow translucent, Roxas felt his eyes well with tears, before he found himself silently crying, the tears streaking down past his cheeks. He didn't sob; he made no noise and didn't even move. He sat there, knees on the hard ground.

Axel shook his head. "Don't cry". After that, his eyes closed all the way, eyelashes almost brushing against the triangle tattoos under his eyes.

The pyro opened his eyes, slumping almost against the barrier, little bits of himself floating away like ash. He was almost completely transparent, like a ghost, now, clinging to his existence only by a single thread that was threatening to snap and send him off into the unknown.

"Don't cry," Axel said again, hands clenched painfully, now. "If you do, this'll be the last thing you remember about me. I don't want you to end up with this memory." His eyes were closed again, his cloak billowing out behind him, vanishing more rapidly now.

Roxas was losing him...and there was nothing he could do about it.

Roxas looked up at Axel wanting to say something so badly, but the words just wouldn't come out.

"Don't cry for me." Axel shook his head, red hair falling into his face as he began to laugh softly.

Roxas stared up at him, still crying silently. "Then could I follow you?"

"Follow me? No. You don't want to go where I'm going." Axel shook his head regretfully. "Those who deserve to die go where I'm going. With luck, you'll never see me again."

"Then we would have never said goodbye," Roxas whispered back, wanting an explanation for everything; why Axel was dying, why he couldn't cry for him, why he, too, couldn't go wherever Axel was going.

"Roxas, just…keep me in your mind." Axel answered, gritting his teeth, almost completely gone. His chakrams dropped to the ground as the hand that had been holding them relaxed, his entire build relaxing in the same way. Kneeling on the ground, he smiled once more.

And at one moment Axel saw all his memories flash by. He remembered everything. For once he felt whole.

He smiled dryly, a colorless hand waving to Roxas. "See you later."

Then he forgot everything.

Then he felt nothing at all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Let's meet again in the next life."

"Yeah. I'll be waiting."

"Sill, just because you have a next life…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


End file.
